From the moment I heard “you have cancer,” I immediately turned to the vast knowledge that the internet held for me. Every new bit of information I was given from doctors regarding my diagnosis led me back to researching everything I could to understand what I was being told and feel better capable of asking intelligent questions. I joined Facebook groups for cancer patients and survivors and perused posts to get a better idea of what the future held for me. I read articles based on my diagnosis and age; I explored options for surgery and treatments. I wanted to know everything I could so nothing would surprise me; I wanted to be prepared for this new future.
In these times of uncertainty and being bombarded from every direction with constantly changing information, it can be easy to get sucked in to the drama and justify being glued to news channels as “staying in the loop.” We become obsessed with wanting to know the latest medical guidance and if research is advancing on a cure. We experience a deep need to know everything we can to be prepared for this new future.
As I reached my second cycle of chemo, I began experiencing some deep depression at how long the process was and the unknownness of the future weighed heavily on me. Despite all the research I had done and all the information stored in my head, it wasn’t making time move faster through the process. At this time I broke down before God and asked Him to give me His strength. I began replacing the hours I would spend trying to find answers about what my future held with time spent in God’s Word, in prayer and listening to uplifting podcasts and music. I prayed daily for God to give me His strength to walk this journey; I would fall asleep repeating God’s promises in an effort to calm my soul from the turmoil of this life event. Instead of focusing on the losses I was experiencing, I focused on the provision God had bestown. I began to live each day one at a time, sometimes an hour at a time.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8)
Where is your focus on days? Are you spending your waking moments researching and staying in the loop with current events? Are you living your days in fear of what the future may hold? I would encourage you to replace time spent keeping up with current news with time spent in God’s Word. Read a book, listened to an uplifting podcast, have some encouraging music playing in the background. God is waiting for us to turn to Him for our strength to get through trials in our lives.
“Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Now that chemo is done, I can clearly see that God’s strength is what carried me through those five months of treatments. Did I stop researching when I had questions? No, I didn’t, but it wasn’t my focus. This strength is the same one that will carry you and I through the coming uncertainties in our world. Reach out to God. Lay your worries before Him and ask for His peace to surround you. Live each day one at a time, trusting daily that God will provide for your needs that day, and in the days to come.